Diving Gorgona Colombia.

Imagine that you are 14. Imagine also that you are a Venture Scout and that you want to go on your best High Adventure of all time. Imagine that you are in good shape and that you don't really care about 5 star accommodations or 3 star... you are 14 and you are happy with a tent. A shower, well that?s just livin it up. Then this is YOUR adventure.

You leave for Gorgona from Bogota to Cali. From Cali, you go to Gaupi. (Good luck finding it on a map) When you land a Guapi there is ONE runway. TWO flights a day and both from Cali. The airplane is a prop driven Dornier. The tower is not taller than a 2 story house. The only stairs from the aircraft are the ones the manufacturer built into the door. You step off the plane. The army is there. In large numbers. You also notice that being white, especially as white as rice, is a rare exception.

You get into the local transportation. For us it was a 1980s era suburban with enough miles on it to have been to the moon several times. There were benches in the back and children's blankets nailed to the roof as a headliner. The drive to the airport is 10 blocks in the small city of 28,000 people. Too bad you have to walk 3 blocks. The Limosine had a flat tire.

You do get there. There is no pier. There are people at the bank of the river washing their clothes, themselves and their children. They seem happy. I thought I was watching an Uncle Remus film. Your are greeted at the pier by a small black child. He gives you a big smile and a hug. Then he asks you for 1000 pesos (50 cents) The kid is too cute to say no to... so you do. This is a bad move. He has friends, brothers and sisters cousins and others willing to sell you a hug for 50 cents. There is some disappointment when you tell them they must share with the recipient.

It is raining. Your luggage is loaded onto the launch. You wade to the boat and get on. Your seat is a cheap plastic lawn chair with the legs hacked off nailed to a board. Off you go for a 1 and 1/2 hour joy ride to Gorgona. It is still raining. You arrive at Gorgona. There isn't a pier here either. The shore is rocky. It is raining. Being smarter than others you grab someone and offer to pay 10 bucks if they will tote your bags. They gladly comply. Your bags are inspected for booze and bug spray. Apparently you are the meal for all the bugs. Fabulous. I love to share.

After your bags are inspected off you go to your room. The room is big. Most have to share but since we were the last to arrive we get our own room. This is good. The room has in it two single beds. 1 rack for stacking clothes and 1 futon. The windows all have screens. Too bad none of the screens even remotely fit. You can hear the mosquitoes plotting... Bzzz Bzz Bzzt which translates to: LUAU in #17 tonight. The bathroom is huge too. With the MOST modern fixtures that seem very out of place in the middle of the jungle. Too bad there isn't a single hook to hang anything on or a single place to put any wet anything. There are smooth log rafters outside. You could use those to dry your wet however, It is raining really hard now.

You are whisked off to a short and boring presentation about the island. In the back of this building is a whale skeleton. I ask if they are tasty. This was not appreciated. Don't touch. Don't steal. Don't worry. Be happy. You have to now take your dive gear to the dive center some 1/2 mile away. I again grab a porter and off it goes.

The dive center could be described as umm primitive. A cement shack about 20 feet square. You can rent a 3 mil suit. You get tanks. You get a jacket. If you go rent. They are hard on your gear. You look at the launch you arrived at from Gaupi. It is now, without modification, your dive boat. You and 13 friends and their gear are piled into the boat. Off you go. It is still raining.

The dive boat was a marvel. The gunnels had screws and stuff in them. This later proved to be problematic since no launch offers a ladder. You have to fin into the boat at maximum warp and breach like a whale into the boat. I soon learned to do a very good Shamu imitation. Our captain was about 300 years old, had 1 tooth and was totally useless. Still raining tho.

After getting my gear on and dislodging a small protuberance from my glutes, over the side i went. We went to an old gas tank now slowly converting into a reef. Lots of fish. Vis 10 feet. Maybe. Nothing exciting but we were diving. Up we came and into the boat. Did I mention no ladder? Still raining. We get back to the dive center and we go to cart our gear up to the dive center... There is no pier. Just a very out tide and lots of rocks. Hose it off and then carry it back to room. No porter this time so off I went, with my 10 lbs of weights in the back pockets. No tank. Thank goodness. It was still raining.

The diving was similar for all dives until the 2nd to last day. I had my SUUNTO set to A2. Very conservative. There were those taking an advanced course and we were doing the deep dive. (101 feet) Vis. About 5 feet. My computer told me 15 min deco stop. I wasn't with Xiomy so I showed my comp too bad I was above the 10 foot ceiling and all he saw was ERR. Up he went. I stayed down for the 15 remaining minutes. I am working HARD to conserve air. Breathe in waaaaaayy deep. Count on exhale 1, 2 - 15 exhale. The 15 mins pass slowly. I come to the surface and I'm about 1/2 of a mile from the boat... (A little current) I signal them and they come get me. Apparently I caused quite a stir. They had sent divers after me supposing I was dead. Xiomy was alternating happy and wanting to kill me. I did come up with 365 lbs after 52 minutes and 12 of those at 100 feet. It was still raining.

We did see sleeping sharks. Free swimming sharks. Whales (not while diving) Rays, sea horses, fish of all kinds, large jacks, a Chinese grouper (cool camouflage on this fish) A scorpion fish, an octopus that didn't seem all that happy that I was 2 inches from his face. I saw lots of morays... even a zebra one.

The last night we went to visit the old prison. In the twilight it was scary. I thought it would be a great place for a Halloween spook alley. Rats the size of small dogs. Monkeys everywhere. Snakes? Oh did I forget to say that on that night they pulled a 10 foot boa constrictor from my room's back window? It really was the jungle. Time to get into the launch and go back to Guapi. First boat leaves. Ours leaves. We get 10 min out and we go back apparently someone has missed the first boat and wanted to come with us. We already had a full boat. She tried to pay money but no... eventually, after some heated discussion, we left. It had finally stopped raining.

Somewhere out in the blue, one of the engines conked out. We still had one, right? Too bad it was running hot and we were making about 4 knots. After 3 hours we were still not back to Guapi and about to miss our flight. We came to a dead stop. Eventually another launch came to get us... transferred our gear and we got back to the pier that isn't a pier in Guapi.

Same suburban takes us back. The airplane is late. 2 hours late. Uggh. We get home, finally, very late. And guess what? It was raining in Bogota.