I did a spontaneous dive today. Shouldn't have been too strenuous: there's a wreck just off a public beach downtown where I live. The wreck is in about 30 feet of water and is only about 300 yds from shore. There is a line running from the shore to the wreck. The viz from shore looked very good. I knew the water was going to be cold, but I have been in just as cold water before and had been toasty with the setup that I've got.

So Gill and I start to set up our gear. Gill is notoriously slow and it's been a running joke for years that I keep asking him, "Are you ready?" I was all smug as I had assembled my rig and was zipped into my drysuit. Gill was still putzing around with his stuff.

I turned on my air and my computer. Air was good: computer gamely flashed on; gave me a couple of 'low battery' flashes and blanked out. No biggy: the dive would be 30 feet max. Good viz. And I had 2800 psi to Gill's 1900 psi. Even taking his awesome consumption rate into account, it would be he who called the dive.

I let Gill know about my computer and set about to hoist my tank onto my back. I leaned forward to snap my waist belt together when, either as a result of the cold air or just plastic fatigue, one of the tongues on the quick release buckle snapped off. Shit!

I have been diving with a DUI harness with BP and OMS wing for a couple of years and really like it. Today: not so much! I discovered a flaw in the system. The buckles on the weight pouches (which become your waist strap) are stiched and glued to the webbing. When the buckle breaks (and it will break) it is not a simple fix. Luckily I had a spare weight belt buckle in my kit and once I had cut off the broken buckle, it was a pretty easy jerry-rig fix. After today I am going to replace the glued/sewn webbing with not-glued/sewed webbing in anticipation of another problem.

So: computer pooched; buckle snapped; gill's regs bleeding small amounts of gas into the lake. Should we do the smart thing and call it a dive? Sure we should have - but we didn't. We descended and followed the line across the bottom. It took about 5 minutes for my ice cream head to clear up. Not from getting used to the water. It was the numbness!

Not far from shore the viz went all pear shaped. We followed the line as closely as we could, but as it has been weighted so as not to be a hazard to surface craft, it ran through some pretty significant weeds and we lost it. Not being the smartest divers in the water today (actually we were the only divers in the water) rather than swimming back to find the line where we had last seen it, we swam blindly on hoping that it would appear out of the murk. It didn't. We groped along the silt until we eventually came to the wreck after swimming about twice as far as we should have.

It was at this time that I noticed that my left arm was burning. At least I had a burning sensation in my left arm. I then noticed what felt like little bubbles running up and down my arm. My God! I got bent in 30 feet of water! (Okay I didnt really think I was bent but it was pretty melodramatic no?)

I knew that I was experiencing a not-insignificant leak in my dry suit. Dry suit: a term that is at best oxymoronic and at worst pure bullshit! Even semi-dry suit is being kind. I have recently had the zipper replaced in my suit and had the thing pressure tested. It passed. I guess the standards for passing are comparable to those of our public schools system (but that is another story.) I could feel water swishing around in my dry glove and feel the frigid dampness spreading across my trunk thanks to the exceptional wicking characteristics of my undergarments.

For those of you who have not had the pleasure of this experience think about the warm sensation you get when you pee in your wet suit. That comfy warmth spreading across your body. Publicly you deny it, but you know how good it feels. Well thats what this was like only without the pleasantness, the comfyness and the warmness (Oh, and dont forget the guilt.) Anyhow, I was getting wet and cold.

We spent some time exploring the wreck. Gill had never been on it before. We saw a couple of large small-mouth bass and a brave crayfish all the other creatures must have wisely migrated. And we headed in to shore. By the time we hit the beach I was a wee bit nippy to say the least. We got to the cars and took off our gear. I must have dumped 2 litres ( gallon) of lake water out of my dry suit. Well, we got home in one piece and I immediately hopped into the hot tub with a 16-year old (Lagavulin). This did much to warm me both inside and out.

I guess the lesson of the day is: Just do the dive and all ends well with a good Scotch.