10) Nitrox is a gas. What do you mean you can't kill people with it?

9) He has not figured out a way to burn the American flag underwater.

8) He quivers every time he hears the word "tank."

7) Nerve gas give you REALLY short bottom times!

6) He can't remember which tank has the anthrax.

5) His dive buddies keep defecting.

4) It's too difficult to surround himself by 200 women and children on the dive boat.

3) He can't deal with the annual tank "visual inspections."

2) Because sharks are better equipped to defend their territory than the Kuwaitis.

1) "Sorry Saddam, no dive card, no air fill - even if you are a ruthless murderous madman."