Top 10 Excuses for Not Earning Open Water Certification

10) I didn't want to get my new gear wet.

9) You can get all the shark action you need on the Discovery Channel!

8) I used a home PC as a dive computer.

7) Two words: neoprene allergy.

6) Listed "Narcosis" as dive objective.

5) Added a few "personalized" signs to the dive-sign lesson.

4) At the pool, when you're tired all you have to do is stand up.

3) A dogfish ate my dive tables.

2) I was in the hospital recovering from DCS.

1) My mother (wife/husband/partner/diabetic cat) won't let me.